Archive for the ‘random nonsense and utter gibberish’ Category

Living Proof My Mum is Easy…

July 22, 2009

titsman

Clothing label Cotton On has released a line of children’s tshirts featuring risque, sexually themed slogans.

I’m yet to actually see a kid sporting one of these ‘controversial’ tshirts, but apparently they’re causing quite a stir.

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A Telepathic Monkey in a Flash Yellow Hat

July 14, 2009

If only i had a super monkey robot, so i could telepathically finish designing the new site. Either way, cyborg-monkey warriors are the future.

Cop Performs Exorcism… Fails Miserably.

July 7, 2009

exorcist

A South Australian cop has been suspended pending further investigation, after he performed an exorcism on a 15 year old kid while off duty at a Lutheran Youth Camp.

28 year old Senior Constable Roger Sketchley, and two others have been charged with false imprisonment and aggravated assault after restraining the kid and attempting to remove the devil from the child for almost 12 hours.

The weird thing is, apparently all the little dude complained of was stomach pains – there was no spinning head, no vomiting of strange coloured substances, no violent masturbation with a crucifix… in other words, he wasn’t possessed, he just had cramps.

Also, as an aside, if you google ‘exorcism’ under ‘videos’ the top result is this lame video about Perez Hilton getting punched by the Black Eyed Peas security crew, thats right, it wasn’t even Fergie, black eyeliner, new haircut and all.

By no means do i suggest you watch this, unless you really have nothing better to do, or you particularly enjoy watching a super-camp, hugely melodramatic blogger ranting from his bedroom…

Eff Your Weather Report

July 7, 2009

Tim Bailey gets jumped by two random squealing girls in front of a girl’s choir… and his hair looks stupid.

The giant one in the red/black hoodie looks like she could absolutely body Bailey, thus halting his rise as the go-to guest weather man.

What kind of drugs do you think these two high-pitched interlopers are high on?

TomKat in Melbourne aka A Chance to Heckle Wierdo Scientologists

July 5, 2009

cocktailjoey

In happier times, before their names were conjoined, Tom was a snappy cocktail waiter and Katie was a frumpy, yet kinda hot virgin. I apologise in advance for using the term TomKat.

But how things have changed. As the flagship couple for the worlds most blatant cult, TomKat represents a strange blend of pseudo religious harmony and nutbar craziness. I’m still not convinced that she hasn’t been brainwashed into the whole deal with the promise of huge sums of money, but then i’m a broke ass blogger from Melbourne, what would i know?

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Stupid Money…

June 30, 2009

90M-Oz-Lotto_0

In keeping with the theme of ridiculous quantities of money, NOTR presents a brief breakdown of the lottery, as inspired by the current OzLotto draw to win $90 million… (more…)

150 Years and Counting…

June 30, 2009

bernie_madoff_newyork

Bernard L. Madoff – the Charles Ponzi of a new generation.

By the sounds of it, Bernie isn’t feeling particularly happy just now, which may have something to do with the 150 years in prison he has to look forward to, not that he’s expected to live more than 10-15 years anyway, since he’s 71 right now. (more…)

Go on. Taser me. I dare you…

June 11, 2009

She mouthed off and was physically non-compliant…

I am constantly astounded at the US police’s willingness to shoot little old ladies with electric guns…


Hey, everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!

June 9, 2009

2233234315_297f5d0153_o

Upon hearing the sad news that Australian test cricketer Andrew Symonds  may be retiring from professional cricket i immediately changed the channel and returned to not caring about the situation at all. After a few seconds i realized that it might have been due to some hilarious alcohol fueled golf buggy incident that only Rodney Dangerfield could be proud of,  sadly though, upon further investigation and channel surfing i found that it was only the run of the mill drunk sportsman spiel, sans Rodney and the golf buggy hilarity. Shame really.

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What? No Weapons?

June 8, 2009

gordonramsay

.VS.

tracygrimshaw

Ah yeah, this shit is so dumb.

He’s an allegedly talented chef who’s found fame and fortune by being an enormous TV douchebag to everyone within 50 metres.

She’s a channel 9 ‘journalist’ at least partly responsible for A Current Affair, the show that actually makes you less intelligent the more you watch it.

If there was a cage involved, or they were going to have a shoot out at dawn, i might be able to care.