Archive for the ‘Crying Inside’ Category

Living Proof My Mum is Easy…

July 22, 2009


Clothing label Cotton On has released a line of children’s tshirts featuring risque, sexually themed slogans.

I’m yet to actually see a kid sporting one of these ‘controversial’ tshirts, but apparently they’re causing quite a stir.



Cop Performs Exorcism… Fails Miserably.

July 7, 2009


A South Australian cop has been suspended pending further investigation, after he performed an exorcism on a 15 year old kid while off duty at a Lutheran Youth Camp.

28 year old Senior Constable Roger Sketchley, and two others have been charged with false imprisonment and aggravated assault after restraining the kid and attempting to remove the devil from the child for almost 12 hours.

The weird thing is, apparently all the little dude complained of was stomach pains – there was no spinning head, no vomiting of strange coloured substances, no violent masturbation with a crucifix… in other words, he wasn’t possessed, he just had cramps.

Also, as an aside, if you google ‘exorcism’ under ‘videos’ the top result is this lame video about Perez Hilton getting punched by the Black Eyed Peas security crew, thats right, it wasn’t even Fergie, black eyeliner, new haircut and all.

By no means do i suggest you watch this, unless you really have nothing better to do, or you particularly enjoy watching a super-camp, hugely melodramatic blogger ranting from his bedroom…

Eff Your Weather Report

July 7, 2009

Tim Bailey gets jumped by two random squealing girls in front of a girl’s choir… and his hair looks stupid.

The giant one in the red/black hoodie looks like she could absolutely body Bailey, thus halting his rise as the go-to guest weather man.

What kind of drugs do you think these two high-pitched interlopers are high on?

TomKat in Melbourne aka A Chance to Heckle Wierdo Scientologists

July 5, 2009


In happier times, before their names were conjoined, Tom was a snappy cocktail waiter and Katie was a frumpy, yet kinda hot virgin. I apologise in advance for using the term TomKat.

But how things have changed. As the flagship couple for the worlds most blatant cult, TomKat represents a strange blend of pseudo religious harmony and nutbar craziness. I’m still not convinced that she hasn’t been brainwashed into the whole deal with the promise of huge sums of money, but then i’m a broke ass blogger from Melbourne, what would i know?


Stupid Money…

June 30, 2009


In keeping with the theme of ridiculous quantities of money, NOTR presents a brief breakdown of the lottery, as inspired by the current OzLotto draw to win $90 million… (more…)

150 Years and Counting…

June 30, 2009


Bernard L. Madoff – the Charles Ponzi of a new generation.

By the sounds of it, Bernie isn’t feeling particularly happy just now, which may have something to do with the 150 years in prison he has to look forward to, not that he’s expected to live more than 10-15 years anyway, since he’s 71 right now. (more…)


June 26, 2009


RIP Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)

I Can’t Help It. I don’t Wanna Be Starting Something, damn you news of Michael Jackson’s death, The Way You Make Me Feel is… Bad.

He was a Smooth Criminal, a bit of a Street Walker, and at least partially In The Closet. Remember The Time he sang Black Or White and tried to Heal The World?

We all need to Come Together, don’t Scream, remember, You Are Not Alone.

Don’t take too much Morphine, because when There’s Blood On The Dancefloor, it’s Dangerous.

Michael had no Privacy during his ChildhoodIs It Scary?

Who Is It? This Man In The Mirror. To the Tabloid Junkies he was trying to say Beat It, ignore the Monkey Business and just Leave Me Alone.

They Don’t Care About Us, they only care about Money.

So, from the Superfly Sister to the Stranger In Moscow, to Little Susie, Dirty Diana and the Liberian Girl, we’re all Speechless.

Whatever Happens don’t Cry, You Are Not Alone. Smile and Keep The Faith, his legacy of 13 Grammies and 750 million records sold is Unbreakable… even if he is Gone Too Soon.

Get Off The Wall and On The Dancefloor, grab a P.T.Y (Pretty Young Thing) turn it up to 2000 Watts and Burn This Disco Out.

Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough.

All jokes aside, there is no denying this is one of the greatest dance routines ever. Shit, dance competitions are still filled with talentless hacks trying to emulate the original.

Go on. Taser me. I dare you…

June 11, 2009

She mouthed off and was physically non-compliant…

I am constantly astounded at the US police’s willingness to shoot little old ladies with electric guns…

What? No Weapons?

June 8, 2009




Ah yeah, this shit is so dumb.

He’s an allegedly talented chef who’s found fame and fortune by being an enormous TV douchebag to everyone within 50 metres.

She’s a channel 9 ‘journalist’ at least partly responsible for A Current Affair, the show that actually makes you less intelligent the more you watch it.

If there was a cage involved, or they were going to have a shoot out at dawn, i might be able to care.

NOTR’s Completely Unqualified DVD Reviews

June 2, 2009


Round two of this fine film review series. I have been going a little crazy trying to graduate in 2 weeks time, hence the lack of NOTR action, my bad, i can’t wait to get this regular again (no Kellogs All Bran). This may be influencing me to choose easy DVD targets for comment, as opposed to using my powers for good.

So, while i appreciate that i’m not doing anyone any favours – since i haven’t seen ANY of this round’s films, and my insight consists mainly of random nonsense dredged from the DVD covers and IMDB – if you think about it, we’ve only got Hollywood to blame.