Archive for October, 2008

A change is gonna come…

October 30, 2008

articulate, powerful, honourable, dignified…

its been a while since they described a president.

(word to Sam Cooke.)

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Table Cockey

October 30, 2008

Although the game has very little in common with cock…

or hockey… it definitely involves a table.

That’s right friends, Table Cockey… and the game just got official.

Requirements:

  • Table. (preferably round, but whatever’s clever)
  • 10 bottlecaps per competitor. (not enough caps? get drinking)
  • Jack. (bottlecap coloured black)
  • Ability to flick said bottlecaps.

The game begins by placing the jack in the centre of the table.

Players then take turns to bust caps at each other, the objective is to be the closest to the jack at the end of the game, last-man-standing Gladiator style.

“are you not entertained? coz’ i’ll fk you up with a telephone”

Traditionally, the bottlecap is placed on the outside edge and flicked with a forefinger, however recent innovations in the game have seen new styles such as the up-flick and knuckle-puck bring intense new levels of excitement to the table.

(fast forward to the 3:14 mark for some knuckle-puck.)

Additionally, the competitor can elect to place the bottlecap upside down (for smoother, more accurate shots) or on its edges (for that hardbody slammin’ action), each to their own.

Table Cockey… its fun sober, and its even more fun wasted.

Plus, since all you really need is the ability to flick a bottlecap with precise accuracy, through a tabletop laden with the wreckage of your opponent’s bottlecaps, in order to be crowned champion, shit is easy.

For those in a celebratory or gambling mood, i suggest the inclusion of the ‘make it rain’ clause, whereby betting is incorporated. Everyone buys in before the game begins, 80 cent is a good round number, but it all has to be paid in 5 cent pieces. Put all the silver in a cup or something and then when the champ is crowned, they gets to make it rain!

(If you don’t know by now, Let Dallas and Rafi show you how.)

Play it with your friends, play it at bars, watch how people respond when you invite them to play some ‘cockey’… Even King Arthur was down.

North vs South: Round 1

October 29, 2008

This is the first installment of what i hope will be a weekly thing…

An exploration and investigation into why the south is the way it is, including analysis of the people, places, prices, behaviour, attitudes and general wackness of the lesser half of this fine city…

a few thoughts on this classic south side night out.

well straight up, thats not much of a cypher, even for a 2-man dance-off in the Safeway carpark on Chapel.

ok… so thongs? and glasses at night? Thats just silly preparation, always tailor your footwear to the event.

not sure what they’re saying… but that little Downhill-Skiing maneuver shoe-wearer pulls halfway thru mos def scored high with the judges.

i say this with all due respect to the tech fans out there, the shuffle just passed me by…

but in a carpark?

(there’s lots to cover, so suggestions, links, shit home videos… hit me up.)

US Election

October 28, 2008

With the American election coming to a close[1] and the themocrats campaign becoming even more of a Stuart Diver style landslide victory, it now seems that Obama is ready to gank the big chair from BigDubbs George Double You Bush. With Biden seated comfortably at the lil kids table just a few doors down from the O office, John MacLane will hopefully Swayze into retirement and Palin will head back to Ass Fuck Alaska so lets hope that the wheels of political change can roll over like Biggie in his grave when Lil Wayne sold 500 billion copies of The Carter VII in like fuckin 20 minutes! Finger crossed X!

Now I doubt that we have any American readers as yet and what’s even more unlikely is that they read this blog looking for political guidance and or decent political commentary (for that I would hit up Politico or Washington Post or some shit), but just in case I thought I might take the opportunity to look at a few moments of the election that caught my attention and also to predict a few things that I’m hoping might happen.

John McCain – “She needed the clothes.” explaining to reporters why Sarah Palin spent $150,000 on clothes n shit.



Predictions

•    After Obama’s inauguration party every themocrat will head to the after party, And after the party it’s the hotel lobby, And round bout 4 you got to clear the lobby etc etc (R.Kelly will not be attending as children may be present)
•    Barack’s top adviser David Axelrod will return to his successful career as 60’s & 70’s Jazz composer and music producer.
•    John McCain will co star with Bruce Willis in Die Hard 9 Fight For Freedom as John McLane Senior, a movie about an African American man with a middle eastern sounding name who takes over the white house but then gets blown up by the two patriotic terrorism fighting old men just before the credits roll then says “yippy kayay motherfucker!” (American flag waves in background)
•    Sarah Palin will do a double page spread in Playboy with Tina Fey then get a reoccurring role in 30 rock as Liz Lemon’s sister from out of town.
•    Jay-Z will use up most of the 74 minutes on The Blueprint 6 talking about how himself and Obama both came up out the hood and took shit over via crack rock.

I’m Prahly wrong about all of this shit but who really gives a fuck? Being Australian I can’t vote in this election anyway. Hope to see you at my Barack Obarbeque next week (BYO Drinks). Peace

[1] I may be calling this one a week early but seriously McCain? You fuckin’ kidding me? Dude looks like the very illegal love child of Walter Matthau and Mason Gamble from the 93′ classic Dennis the Menace.

ROBAMA

October 28, 2008

ROBAMA from ROBAMA on Vimeo.

via DP

(fkn Vimeo videos and WordPress have beef.)

RIP Rudy Ray Moore

October 24, 2008

I love me some Blaxploitation, if you do too, then you’ve definitely bumped Dolemite. Rudy Ray Moore was the man with brilliant comic timing…

and an all girl army of kung-fu killers…

RnB singer…

Comedian…

Movie Star…

Hyperbole about his importance to the growth of Rap aside, he was rad.

He’ll stay strong in my VHS collection.

Really really real?

October 24, 2008

I originally got onto these guys via Dallas

“I don’t wanna get arrested… over a Mims song”

Keep an eye on them at It’s the Real

makes me want to get my internets’ celebrity status poppin’.

King of Pop

October 23, 2008

The excellent Intensities in Ten Suburbs dishes up a look back at some MJ classics, in particular 2001’s “You Rock My World”… read it.

just lovely

The Brunswick Free Ride

October 22, 2008

Thanks to all those who came along for the ride.

peep the photos.

That’s the back of my head and Cam one of the events organizers.

Me on the aqua blue girls bike rockin a Melbourne stub and feathered stetson hat. straight p.i.m.p

One of our local boys in blue.

Mobile DJ

Big chicken Cam giving us a motivational speech.

This certainly wont be the last Free Ride so keep tunin into NOTR for more updates.

Far north of the river

October 21, 2008

This is some old shit but it shows that we really are North Of The River! Fuckin’ Shytney!

All thanks to The Daily Telegraph and it’s quality editorial department.

Melbourne stays winning!