Archive for the ‘Please explain’ Category

Improbable Ads: FlavorWave Turbo Oven feat. Mr. T

July 29, 2009

I stumbled over this infomercial in the early hours of the morning. It would appear the producers have sodomised the once great Mr. T, reducing himĀ  to a one-line buffoon for the amusement of old ladies and Z-grade infomercial hosts named Darla.

Here are the highlights (watch for the overexcited golden girls lookalike as Mr T enters the studio)

Key line: ‘Mmm, my taste buds is going wow!’


Breaking News: Bitches dont know bout my famous glasses

July 16, 2009


Ah not again!

I hate it when a party gets canceled! I work hard enough to deserve to get drunk on the weekends and forget my name! It grinds my fuckin’ gears when someone bursts my bubble for some horse shit fuckin’ reason.


TomKat in Melbourne aka A Chance to Heckle Wierdo Scientologists

July 5, 2009


In happier times, before their names were conjoined, Tom was a snappy cocktail waiter and Katie was a frumpy, yet kinda hot virgin. I apologise in advance for using the term TomKat.

But how things have changed. As the flagship couple for the worlds most blatant cult, TomKat represents a strange blend of pseudo religious harmony and nutbar craziness. I’m still not convinced that she hasn’t been brainwashed into the whole deal with the promise of huge sums of money, but then i’m a broke ass blogger from Melbourne, what would i know?


150 Years and Counting…

June 30, 2009


Bernard L. Madoff – the Charles Ponzi of a new generation.

By the sounds of it, Bernie isn’t feeling particularly happy just now, which may have something to do with the 150 years in prison he has to look forward to, not that he’s expected to live more than 10-15 years anyway, since he’s 71 right now. (more…)

Go on. Taser me. I dare you…

June 11, 2009

She mouthed off and was physically non-compliant…

I am constantly astounded at the US police’s willingness to shoot little old ladies with electric guns…

Newsflash: Bogan chick lies to cameraman…

May 24, 2009

Obviously i’m a bit late to this story, since the video has already gone viral, getting like 200,000 hits as of yesterday.


Herpes much??

May 21, 2009
[Via Three Thousand]

One day, these woman will be mothers. presumably to multiple partners.

Also check the hilarious comments section where one dude says “I went to high school with these girls…kinda saw it coming “. I know a few girls from high school that might be doing the same thing, prahly on more of a back room of the local R.S.L tip though.

Shout out to ****** *****. Hahaha!

Who will pay for your taxi? Are you fucking kidding me? You ain’t nothin’ but a hoochie mama!

I’m an alien, i’m a legal alien…

April 21, 2009


At the risk of becoming something akin to the internets version of the tabloid news, i can’t help but love the latest tales of UFO sightings.


MTV UK’s “Top” 100 Albums aka A Pack of Tasteless Heathens Make a List…

April 11, 2009


Recently, MTV UK conducted a poll to find the “Greatest Album Ever” (since 1981) and the results are, quite frankly, disturbing.

I’ve never really associated myself, or anyone i know, with the “MTV Generation”, which is largely due to the distinct lack of MTV in Australia, but considering the choices on this list, i’m glad.

Taking the parochial nature of these kind of polls into account, i can forgive a slight bias towards UK acts, but how does Craig David get 2nd place, and the fucking Arctic Monkeys? The order of this list is all messed up, and i can think of a crate load of albums that should be on there. The only conclusion i can draw is that the poll voting, music listening, UK residing, MTV Generation are cretins. No offence.

Top 20 after the drop…


Below the belt…

March 31, 2009


So hip-hop fashion has finally taken its toll on the youth of Mooloolaba, although lets face it, these days low slung jeans aren’t even really hip-hop – just ask ‘Yeezy. Trent Wroe, (although unconfirmed as a hip-hop fashionista) copped a $250 fine after ‘accidentally’ dropping his jeans in front of a female police officer.