Archive for the ‘nature’s own goodness’ Category

A Telepathic Monkey in a Flash Yellow Hat

July 14, 2009

If only i had a super monkey robot, so i could telepathically finish designing the new site. Either way, cyborg-monkey warriors are the future.

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King James…

May 24, 2009

I actually walked off after Turkoglu sank the 2, after nailing the 3 just before – he’s a very good player. Since then i’ve had my whole house telling me to check out the last second of the match. Well, suffice it to say, now we all know that Lebron is an alien-super-basketball-player-from-the-future.

As an aside, I am loving having the NBA playoffs on free-to-air. Its like all the youthful enthusiasm for the game that i had in primary school is coming back with a vengeance, oh, and these days Charles Barkley is a fat guy doing ‘special’ comments in a cream suit. Who’d have thought?

I’m an alien, i’m a legal alien…

April 21, 2009

ufo

At the risk of becoming something akin to the internets version of the tabloid news, i can’t help but love the latest tales of UFO sightings.

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The 5 Stages of Alcholism according to Kwitonda.

March 23, 2009

Today’s public service announcement is brought to you by Kwitonda.

He is a silverback Gorilla, and all round general bad-ass.

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Getting smashed on bamboo juice may look fun…

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A Storm in a D Cup…

March 18, 2009

Yeah, i straight up jacked the title from a news report… my bad.

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One of the last true bastions of feminist ideals is under threat in Hobart. Well, one of the last Hooters restaurants anyway. (more…)

Capsicum is a hell of a drug…

March 11, 2009

First question surely has to be, how does one implant a capsicum with cocaine so that it grows inside it? Not that i would try it myself, but hell, thats gotta be a scientific breakthrough. The second question is who’s going to be the first NY cRapper to claim to move units of peppers?

I just hope that the US cracks down on this, there needs to be some serious improvements in the control and checking of fresh produce being filled with illicit drugs… although surprisingly, authorities believe not everyone returned their cocaine filled capsicums.

I was tossing up a few related songs to post, such as Bob Dylan’s ‘Cocaine’, JJ Cale’s ‘Cocaine’, Johnny Cash’s ‘Cocaine Blues’ or The Game’s ‘Cocaine’. But i got sidetracked and went with this little number…

Enjoy, i’m off to buy some vegetables…

Glasshouses > Cages

March 10, 2009

Been away in the country all weekend getting my folk on with the fam, but right back at it now.

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BBC News ran an article about a chimp in Stockholm who has been seen to hoard rocks to throw at the zoo visitors.

‘Santino’, who lives in the Furuvik Zoo in Sweden would gather rocks and projectiles (including pieces of his enclosure) during the non-viewing hours in a calm and relaxed state, and then when visitors were watching, he’d get his Sandy Koufax on.

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The key scientific import of this is that Santino is capable of planning ahead, and preparing for future mental states, basically, he is pretty chilled when he’s collecting the ammunition, but he does so knowing that he is gonna get mad when lots of Swedes come and stare at him… and he’s been doing it for years apparently, with zoo staff saying that they had been removing the objects to protect visitors.

I don’t know how this theory ties in with the other angry monkey of a few weeks ago, but i’m starting to appreciate that even if you’re a chimpanzee, being locked in a cage or dressed up and treated like a child isn’t much fun… particularly with Swedes watching.

although…

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“And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed…” – Genesis 1:29

February 1, 2009
Olympic ace Michael Phelps inhales from bong

As i suggested today to some of my Sunday Funday crew, the only reason Phelps is in the news is so some bright spark at the News of the World can write the line:

“Michael Phelps in hot water…” (after ripping some of that sweet USA Swimteam bud through a tacky red bong)

Because, lets be honest, there is zero chance that anyone is going to punish him, he is the only reason the US can compete in Men’s swimming, curtailing the traditional Australian dominance of said sport, by the way. He may/may not have smoked a bugle (Jizzo stand up!), although according to the ‘eyewitnesses’ he certainly did, but shit, he’s a 24 year old sportstar. Who absolutely owned the Olympic swimming Gold.

Here’s some quotes from the unnamed source:

“Every girl wanted a piece of him and every guy wanted to be his best buddy. He couldn’t get enough of all the attention.”

“As he basked in his hero status, Phelps knocked back beers and shots of spirits.”

“You could tell Michael had smoked before. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and knew exactly what to do.” (Like it’s so complicated)

“He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits.” (The gold medal winner of bong hits? Thats some good copy right there.)

I’m no mega athlete, but i can totally dig wanting to get high and bang some college girls if i’d spent the last 16 years doing nothing but swimming up and down a pool and eating like 10 bowls of pasta a day.

To put this in perspective, here’s some other stars who’ve been ‘busted’ with that sticky icky…

Whitney Houston

David Lee Roth

Louis Armstrong

All the Rolling Stones

All the Beatles

Willie Nelson

Flavor Flav

Snoop Dog

Iggy Pop

David Bowie

Ray Charles

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

Alan Iverson

Chris Webber

Jim Belushi

Ben Franklin

Al Gore

Woody Harrelson

Thomas Jefferson

Steve Jobs

George Washington

I could be wrong, but it didn’t seem to end any of their careers prematurely, (except maybe Belushi, and that was probably more about the copious amounts of coke and crack) eiher way i’d say Phelps is pretty safe.

Exile on the MP…

December 23, 2008

This is strictly for the beat-heads, Exile flips A Milli and some Hiero samples into some futuristic bounce.

Check for his record “Radio” out on Plug Records, Jan 20th.

via The Rap Up

Somethings a little bit fruity…

September 16, 2008

man i love sunshine, i get solar energy like some prehistoric sail having dinosaur…

so the nicest day we’ve seen in melbs for months was more than enough reason to break out the home-cooked kebabs (beetroot tzatziki = GOAT dip), and buy a watermelon…

the combinations are endless with fruit based alcoholic beverages, but damn if the simplest aren’t the best. and when it comes to fruit and booze, watermelon just stays winning… shit is tasty as hell, its juicy and pulpy too… plus, and there can be no underplaying this fact… watermelon helmets are the business.

this summer fruit will be in full effect, fuck a slab, i’m rolling with punch in the sun.