NEWSFLASH: Axle is still a stupid name.

by

axle1

Axle Whitehead < Axle Foley

beverly-hills-cop

The point (however irrelevent) of this post was to alert all of you NOTR reading gentlemen out there to an exciting breakthrough in understanding the female mind, courtesy of the good people at Cleo Magazine. Apparently, getting your cock out and masturbating a golden statue on national TV makes you an eligible bachelor in todays dating world. Shocking, i know.

Now before you all get up in arms claiming that you don’t know the magazine in question, it being a ‘girls’ mag and all. We all know that in high school, girls would be reading it, and you’d feign interest in an article on “10 Ways To Make Your Ugly Body Look Sexier” or “My Boy Won’t Stop Licking my Ass… What Do I Do?” and in reality, you’d just flick through, hoping for some gratuitous lunch-time nudity.

The funny thing is, on further inspection i discovered that this years Cleo Bachelor was rife with scandal. Not only did a cock flashing, crappy jazz singing, tool win the big award, but 10 of the 50 contestants didn’t even bother to show up for the final, while fully half of them are in relationships. Now, i’m just a bloke and all, but i would’ve thought that meant you literally weren’t a bachelor anymore, but according to Cleo, “as long as they’re not married they are still essentially on the market.” Oh snap. Polygamy anyone?

polygamy_article_bm_582326g

On congratulating Mr Whitehead on his win, Cleo explained “he is that perfect combination of good looks, charm, charisma and the kind of guy you’d be really happy to take home and introduce to your mum.” That is, i assume, as long as your mum considers dudes who get sacked from their jobs for pulling their cock out at the ARIAs to be charismatic and charming…

For all the intelligent, powerful, beautiful, funny, non Cleo-reading ladies who read this blog (and like long walks on the beach), don’t take this personally.

And, this isn’t because we didn’t win Cleo’s Next Top Blogger

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4 Responses to “NEWSFLASH: Axle is still a stupid name.”

  1. miz Says:

    im sending in your link

  2. samuelcooney Says:

    hey, have you guys seen this?

    funny

  3. bigdubbs Says:

    thanks miz, i’ll be waiting on that legitimate journalist money with bated breath…

  4. bigdubbs Says:

    the subtitles on that clip are pretty rad. i love how they name their fish f**k off and money green.

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