I’m an alien, i’m a legal alien…



At the risk of becoming something akin to the internets version of the tabloid news, i can’t help but love the latest tales of UFO sightings.

UFOs or Unidentified Flying Objects for anyone who has been living in a cave, have apparently been popping up throughout the Northern Territory quite regularly of late. I certainly don’t want to cast dispersions on the validity of these sightings, or on the honesty of our fine Top End countrymen. Nevermind that the photos were taken on a cellphone, which, if its anything like mine, its full of dust and tobacco and shit, and is far from a reliable source.


if you squint, and hold it up to the light just right…

Anyway, it got me thinking. When it comes to the topic of aliens and flying saucers and all that extraterrestrial jazz, i’m actually pretty happy to believe it. Although my belief system does have a few provisos, namely, yes i believe aliens exist, but i believe they are considerably smarter than us (not hard) and that really we’re not particularly interesting to them, say the equivalent of an ant farm, or those little fake-ass sea monkey things.

These days, people make shit up all the time. True story, 75% of the time, the person you’re talking to is lying, at least a little bit. However, way back in the day that was not the case. TV advertising didn’t exist, politicians weren’t all callous, self serving losers, Starbucks hadn’t made ordering a coffee the most pretentious thing you could do and performance enhancing drugs weren’t an acceptable part of major league sports.


before… and after… aka neck… no neck…

Its like the man Kurt Vonnegut says “…there must have been days of light gravity in old times, when people could play tiddley winks with huge chunks of stone.” True indeed Kurt, i’m no scientist, but there certainly doesn’s seem to be any satisfactory answer as to just how exactly ancient civilisations, with less people, and infinitely less technology managed to construct ridiculously large pyramids in the middle of the jungle, or on top of a mountain, or in the desert.

gizapyramids1 machu_picchu tikal-6

Then there’s the fact that so many ancient cultural deities and gods are so similar, even when the civilisations may be hundreds of years apart, or on opposite sides of the globe.


You say Quetzalcoatl, i say Viracocha…

The nasca lines in Peru, some of them are kilometres long, even if aliens weren’t helping them draw them, why the fuck does anyone need a giant monkey on a hill if not to communicate with someone?


You want proof of aliens my friends, i suggest you visit some of these places, and pay less attention to a Northern Territory housewife with a dirty mobile phone.


One Response to “I’m an alien, i’m a legal alien…”

  1. tubswaller Says:

    whats this? a who’s who of tattoo art? that photo of machu pichu looks pretty famliar too

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