Barack… oh, bummer.


I am riding that Obama horse into town, and it all begins with the cheezyest title this side of the District of Colombia.

That said, I would like to spin ye a yarn about our Senator Obama, that’s right Barack Obama senator for the great state of Illanois. You see, along with Dilla I also watched the coverage of the inauguration, but this devotee started at 11 o’clock in the p.m with coverage from Diane “There is something creepy about that face but I can’t quite put my finger on it” Sawyer of Good Morning America fame.

Spike Lee, 6’3″ Limo, Mohammad Ali, the Queen of all M.Cs, Dick Cheney and his hot-wheels,  Aretha Franklin and her super sweet hat… fast forward a number of hours…


3:58 p.m, the moment we all audaciously hoped would come, and Senator Obama proved to his electorate that he too is human, you see my fellow citizens, the pressure got to the great man and he stumbled over the lines that he must have rehearsed about 182,000 times that day alone. I’m sure all have all seen seen the footage already, but for those of you unaware here it is…

Chief Justice the Honourable John G. Roberts Jr. has a lot to answer for

So I call the great man Senator Obama because some political pundits are claiming that his stumblings render him ineligible for the top job, and White House council C.J Greg Craig tends to agree, telling the pressticles that ‘out of an abundance of caution‘ the oath was taken again at 7:35 p.m. in the map room of Obama’s spankin’ new White House (is that anywhere near the basketball court where the leader of the free world intends to have a shoot-out with Magic Johnson and Larry Bird?)


They look pretty tired… I’m not convinced Barack “Air” Obama couldn’t take them on

So he took the first bungled oath at midday, and the second, more legit oath at 7:35 p.m, that’s about one third of a day in which the uber-power of the world was in limbo. According to Mr. Craig, Joe “Dash” Biden took the reigns of the nation for those 7 hours and 35 minutes, does that make Dash the 44th president and Obama the 45th? Remain calm folks, our informative friend Mr. Craig will tell us that it has happened before, President Calvin Coolidge and President Chester Arthur both did it in the past, and look where they are now… lost in the dusty, dusty  pages of history… that’s an ominous beginning President Obama.

For the record, President Coolidge granted residency to the native population of the U.S, so some good work has been done by your predecessors President Obama, go forth and inspire a nation to greatness… President Arthur on the other hand passed the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882, which banned Chinese immigrants from the country for more than sixty years…

To sign off a few inauguatory words from the ever inspiring Rev. Joseph E. Lowery,

“Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around … when yellow will be mellow … when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen.”

At this point the two-million strong crowd erupted in a fury of ecclesiastic ‘amens’.


One Response to “Barack… oh, bummer.”

  1. bigdubbs Says:

    classic title bro.

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