Winter in America.

by

united_states_capitol_winter

With the presidential inauguration now in the rear view and the worst American presidency since reconstruction finally over, Barack Obama, America’s 44th president is now seated justly in his recently refurbished oval office. By now Obama and his staff will be getting straight down to business on the issues concerning not only Americans but the rest of the world. HoHo.

After staying up till 5am Wednesday morning watching Channel Seven’s coverage of the inauguration which was like watching the Grammy’s knowing who wins but just wanting to see Aretha Franklin sing and the winner’s speech at the end I’m feeling now like I need to speak to Dick Cheney’s people about gettin’ me one of them wheel chairs to relax into for the rest of the week. Not too much happened between 11 and 4, notably Spike Lee talking about his snow white fluffy eared “this my New York joint” flat peak cap, me laughing about the announcers hilariously low voice, changing channels constantly to see if SBS was still playing the weather pattern and trying to make up my mind about Joe Biden’s wife being hot or not?…Discuss.

A certain low point in the evening was an advertisement by Chrysler featuring a cheap ass parody of Obama’s election victory speech “can we sell a plastic shitbox car for less that $50k?…YES WE CAN!” nice work advertising department! You’re really kicking ass in all directions aren’t you…Idiots.

Shout outs go to the sound guy who speedily turned down the crowd mics to avoid about 50 trillion viewers hearing members of the crowd hurl boo’s and chant “bye bye bush” as the then president entered to take his seat. Nice.

I would like to extend my congratulations to the former president on his achievements during his many dreary years in the big boy’s chair. With a list of political failures longer than the time it took him to respond to hurricane Katrina, Dubya leaves the White House with the lowest approval ratings of any president ever. Ouch. Nearly 80% of Americans say they will not miss him after he leaves office and CNN polls found that only one third of citizens want him to play a post-presidency role in public life. Sucks to be him.

With a near doubling of the national debt, the swampy ass fuck situation known as Iraq, America’s health insurance system not being worth a bucket of warm spit and a continuing war in Afghanistan that’s left its only financially secure export to be its opium trade, losses on the home and job fronts across most of the classes that cant afford to lose such essentials and an international reputation as good as…well not as good as anything really.

Americans seem so determined on pulling themselves out of this rut, and the hope that Obama has brought to his nation via his historic election has been a monumental step in its development, yet with all this optimism for success many American’s surely have set their expectations much too high and unfortunately for the most committed of Obama’s supporters disappointment may await them.

Now nobody wants to be remembered as a fool, Bush is quoted as saying “history will be the judge of my decisions” In the case of Iraq, the people and governments involved in resolving that situation will not likely be associated with the Bush administration so any success in Iraq will not be accredited to Bush himself, more likely Obama’s team or some of the other countries involved in the crisis (stand up Rudd!). So if you shit in the shower George, don’t take credit for whoever cleans it up! Dubya recently mentioned that “when I get home tonight and look in the mirror, I am not going to regret what I see, except maybe some grey hair” (cue canned laugher) let’s just hope he says candy man three times after he’s finished looking at his gray old mop.

“Our long nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over”

History will write itself and it may not be gentle with the truth, this is baggage you carry after being a president. Any late night TV presenter can get easy laughs by simply mentioning the words Bill, nuts, knees or stain in the same sentence and with Bush’s failures out scaling Clinton’s considerably, surely Bush’s legacy won’t be remembered as a successful one.

Nothing grows in winter in America.

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One Response to “Winter in America.”

  1. bigdubbs Says:

    the hard truth eh Dilla?

    “the swampy ass fuck situation known as Iraq” – best quote of ’09 so far.

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