Elementary my dear Watson…

by

sherlock-holmes-thomas-watson

There’s a dude going around flashing his mangina at young girls in suburban melbourne…

and right from the outset let me stress, that is NEVER cool.

However the video/press the police have released is kinda funny.

According to Detective Inspector O’Halloran:

“This guy is about 40 years old, usually rides a mountain bike, which is possibly blue or silver, and wears a bicycle helmet and wraparound sunglasses”

…well that narrows it down considerably.

“We’ve identified he commits these offences during the week after 4pm”

… which indicates he probably… has a job… or likes to sleep in.

“Obviously he uses a bike, which is unusual”

…unless you’re one of those nut-jobs who like to ride bikes, or you don’t have a car, or you’re under the age of 12 (everyone had a bike as a kid right?), or your name’s Lance Armstrong, or you live in Brunswick/Northcote/Carlton/Fitzroy, or you work at one of the hundreds of bike stores that have sprung up like hallucinogenic mushrooms in cow-shit after it rains.

_43054547_naked-bike_416getty

I know he’s here somewhere…

“He is described as Caucasian, aged in his 40s or 50s, with a medium to athletic build”

…often the case if you are a white male born during the 50s or 60s in Australia who rides a bike all over town.

“He usually wears a T-shirt, dark-coloured high-cut shorts or tight cycling pants, a cycling helmet and wraparound sunglasses. He also carries a backpack”

…well now it all makes sense: he rides a bike, wearing bike riding gear, including a helmet (which is a legal requirement) and sunglasses (which are recommended by SunSmart) and carries a backpack, because his briefcase kept getting caught in the wheels.

Watch the clip here.

Again, NOTR is absolutely against dodgy men on bikes… with backpacks… and bike shorts… and helmets… riding bikes… near kids.

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2 Responses to “Elementary my dear Watson…”

  1. toohot Says:

    when you gonna post that [sic] P Dilla rmx o’ Busta??

  2. pdilla Says:

    who toohot?

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